How to Overcome the Dark Night of the Soul: A Guide for Your Rebirth

The death and rebirth phase.

It's an unavoidable one.. We go through this multiple times in our lifetime.

What it is, is your soul growing - coming back to you with every time you move through this phase. You get back a part of you when you get through this phase.

But many don't go through it, they avoid it, they try to bypass it.. Coz the work is difficult.

Even just being in this phase with all the uncertainty, the unknown ahead of you and the chaos around you.. Is too much.

More so, the steps you know you should take intuitively. But they are not easy, they demand a lot of you. They ask you to leave a part of you before you can move ahead.

And most go back.

To old patterns.

To old loops.

Cos comfort is better. It's oh so easy to just stay in that comfort zone, to stay in the delusion that if I go back.. Things will be fine.

Why should you let a part of you die to move on?

Why sound you do the hard thing?

Make the hard choice?

Why?

That's a good question indeed.

And if you can answer that in a way that makes you realise you are ready to move ahead.

And if you are ready to move ahead, here's my process 😅

1. The First Step to Rebirth: Acknowledging the End

Once you realize it - Its okay to Hate that this is happening again, crib a little, be annoyed, be angry, get mad at life - it's all valid and absolutely okay. Our ego is allowed a little tantrum coz that's the one that will be losing itself 😅 Letting it vent now will help keeping it in your control later 😬 it's the "Why me, or why me again" time of life.

There may be denial in this phase btw. You don't want to see what's in front of you.

This is when the universe/ source creates more chaos to let you know. And if you are aware, you also get signs left, right and center. You might still choose to be blind, and it'll get so much in your face that you can't avoid anymore.

Trust me, better to accept sooner than later before things get really bad. And yes, they definitely can. Especially, if you've been stuck in this pattern for a long time 👀 This is not to scare you - but it's the case. Most of the times.

Acceptance is all you need to focus on now.

2. The Void: Navigating the Unknown

Once the venting phase is done, and you've accepted that you've reached this phase... Now begins the uncertainty. You may or may not be aware of what you're being asked to let go. If you are aware, it makes things easier. If not, it's a phase of uncertainty.

Nothing may feel good - neither anything you used to love or anything new. Blank might be a constant feeling. You don't know what's happening. It feels like you're in a haze, nothing seems clear. Meanwhile, the chaos around may only be increasing. More problems on top of what's already there. It's probably the worst time of your life. That's what it feels life. It may feel like rock-bottom.

And you may want to give up now. Don't.

What you need to do now is stay.

Set an intention to know what you're meant to know.

And then Observe. What's happening around you and inside of you. Observe everything. Every random conversation. Anything that keeps showing up repeatedly. Synchronicities. Signs.

That's where your clues are. You'll find out what you need to know.

And all this while - you may not want to do anything. Especially spiritual practices lol. Your ego is rebelling, you might feel like you're forcing yourself to do the most basic things. You feel like you need a break for months.

This is when you need to be kind to yourself. Set aside everything that isn't really important right now. Move deadlines that you can. Just do the absolute non-negotiables coz well life doesn't stop, does it?!

But cut off whatever you can. Be selfish. It's only temporary. Show yourself some love and compassion in this time. That's all you need to do.

Rest. Love yourself. Observe.

That's a spiritual practice in itself btw.

Love for yourself is what you need now.

3. The Process of Letting Go: The Courage to Change

You might now be aware of what's going to move you through this phase. If you felt the last phase was difficult... This one's not so easy either. But you got this, you've come so far. Don't stop now ❤️

If you know what's required of you to get through, then you know what to do.

Courage is what will help you, along with trust in your soul and the universe.

Knowing that it's all happening for you.

Coz what you're going to have to do to move through the haze is let go.

Of your comfort zone.

Of your ego or whatever it's holding on to.

Of people, experiences, emotions.

Of patterns and baggage.

Of old versions of you that no longer are meant to go with you.

Of desires/ goals/ dreams that aren't aligned.

Of parts of you.

Whatever that is no longer meant to be a part of the new You that's coming to life.

Whatever is no longer aligned to the part of your soul that's coming back to you.

Whatever is meant to go, will go.

You let it go.

Holding on will only keep you stuck.

You know it. You know what to do.

It's the time to make the hard choice.

To take the leap of faith.

To go into the unknown without the old holding you back.

Whatever needs to die, will die here. If you let it.

So that the rebirth can happen.

Courage and trust will get you through ❤️

And keep in mind - What's meant for you, will never bypass you. So if something is meant to go, it's for a reason.

4. The Rebirth: Emerging from the Darkness

It's not over yet 🙈 Taking the leap, making the hard choice might feel like it's done. But there may be more.

Depending on your journey, your time in life, what you've been through.. There may be more to let go. So be patient. And be aware.

Coz while there may be more to let go before you are fully done.. The old you will still try to claw back in. People you've let go will want to pull you back down. Emotions might resurface again. You might want to go back to old patterns. Ego wants back the comfort in the known.

But stay strong here ❤️ you've already come so far..

Don't give up now. You've got this. Keep going 💪

Patience and strength will get you through.

And also knowing that - what's on the other side is for you. Even if it may not feel that way yet. But trust that it's right for you. Don't doubt it now.

And keep letting go of everything that needs to go.

Throughout all this, your ego is going to be fighting with you. It's going to be strong in it's fight, so my suggestion is to surround yourself with whatever helps you defend your choices to the ego. People, community, teachings, whatever and whoever keeps reminding you to stay strong - you need all the help & support you can get now.

5. The Integration: Anchoring Your New Reality

You've made it? Beautiful 😍 then you know that it might not always immediately feel like it. You might feel a bit disconnected with yourself.

When you've let so much of you die, it's going to take a little time to feel fully You. Not just that. There's the new You. The one who's grown through all of the chaos. And then there's the part of your soul that's been reclaimed.

It's going to take a while to adjust, to allow all these parts to come together and feel like you're You again. That's okay. It's just a little uncomfortable but it's better that what you've been through!

Take the time, don't force yourself to immediately get moving & to get back to routines of the old You. Coz you don't know if it's going to be part of the new You yet. Allow yourself to first find your footing.

It's like moving to a whole new place - get your bearings first. Before trying to 'get back on track'!

Patience and understanding is what you need now ❤️

Sometimes there's a whole identity shift that happens and you realize the way you see things has changed. Your perspective might have shifted. Your thoughts might have changed directions. Which means your actions will also shift.

So it's okay, let yourself fall into a whole new rhythm. Eventually, it'll all settle down and you'll get comfortable with the New.

You've made it, love! 😍🎉Good job!

P. S - anchor the new You by allowing yourself to tap into your inner wisdom/ soul/ intuition to take aligned actions. You won't go wrong following your inner wisdom ❤️😇

---

As much as I've shared here, it's still not everything.

Of all the phases of Quantum leaping - this one asks the most of you.

And despite knowing all this, your experience will still be your own.

I've been through too many of these is why I've been able to write this - and every

time this happens, it feels too soon but it's something you still get used to! 😅

Every time you go through it will feel different too, but what you can always rely on is the fact that if you've it through once - you can do it again. And again.

You know your patterns. You know what helps. You know who will be the best person to talk through this. You know how to take care of yourself through this. You learn so much more about yourself every time. And you grow through all of it.

I should say it gets easier, and in some ways it does. But I'm all about being straight and honest.. And as I'm on step 3 right now 😅 I can tell you that part doesn't get easier. Letting go doesn't get easy.

With every time you go through this phase, what you're being asked to let go only gets intense. No sugar-coating here.

It may feel like you have nothing more to give, and there's more that's asked of you. Sometimes, it requires too much of you. But trust that it's for a reason.

Btw at any point if you're thinking, there's no way I'm going on the spiritual path if that's how difficult it is - I'm talking about Life. What we all go through whether we like it or not.

You can get through it initially with logic, but as I've learnt - Spirituality is what makes this easier. Not logic.

We go through this whatever our faith or not. Whatever path you're on or not.

Whether you believe or not.

Look back and you'll see.

You'll either notice that you've done this before or are stuck in a pattern. If your reality isn't what you like, then you've been resisting this phase.

Sending love and strength whichever phase you are in ❤️ and if you need someone to chat while you're going through this, I'm just a ping away 🤗

You've got this, Believe 💕

Love,

Reshma